Gentle reminders: are they gentle?

About the author:

Isra AlBastaki is a student on the MSc in Global Healthcare Leadership programme, run in partnership with Saïd Business School. Isra is currently involved in the development of the first academic health system in Dubai. Additionally, Isra served as the Vice-chairperson of the Global Council of Sustainable Development Goal 3, Health and Wellbeing, from 2021 to 2023.

The paradox of "gentle reminders": Examining their true impact

In today's fast-paced world, "gentle reminder" is frequently used in daily communications. However, it's worth questioning whether these reminders are as gentle as they claim to be. This blog explores the mental model of sending gentle reminders and how they reflect organizational culture.

At the core, sending a gentle reminder instead of having a direct conversation signals a shift in handling delays and collaboration. When projects stall, or deadlines are missed, it's often more convenient to fire off an email than to pick up the phone or arrange a meeting. This convenience, however, comes at a cost. By avoiding direct conversation, we miss opportunities to discuss the reasons behind delays and find collaborative solutions to move matters forward.

Gentle reminders, while seemingly benign, can sometimes carry an accusatory tone. Phrases like, "just a gentle reminder" can be perceived as thinly veiled accusations of lateness or incompetence. When these reminders are sent with a copy to higher-ups, the message is clear: "You are late, and now everyone knows." This practice can create a culture of blame and fear rather than support and collaboration.

The way we use gentle reminders reflects our organizational culture. In some workplaces, the overuse of such reminders may indicate a lack of direct communication and a reliance on indirect, often passive-aggressive methods to address issues. This can harm team morale and productivity, as employees may feel undervalued and criticized rather than supported and empowered.

I have learned that recognizing the significant missed opportunities that come with gentle reminders is important. Opting for an email over a conversation means we forfeit the chance to connect with our colleagues on a personal level. Empathy, a crucial element of effective communication, is often absent in written reminders. By choosing to send a gentle reminder, we miss out on the chance to truly understand the challenges our colleagues face and work together to overcome them.

Before sending a ‘gentle reminder’ email, the sender should consider their approach. Relying on gentle reminders may indicate a lack of critical skills such as effective communication, healthy confrontations, empathy, and practical problem-solving. By improving these skills, individuals can better address delays and move projects forward constructively.

Effective communication involves more than just sending an email; it requires understanding and addressing the underlying issues causing delays. When done respectfully, confrontation can lead to clearer expectations and better outcomes. Empathy allows us to understand our colleagues' challenges and work together to overcome them. Critical thinking helps in finding practical and collaborative ways to move projects forward.

While gentle reminders may seem convenient to address delays and keep projects on track, they often mask deeper issues within organizational communication and culture. By prioritizing direct, empathetic conversations and reflecting on our own capabilities, we can create a more supportive and effective work environment. This shift in approach benefits individuals personally, enhances team functionality, and ultimately contributes to the organization's success.

Reminders are healthy when they are done appropriately with the right intention in place. In healthcare, gentle reminders have proven to be effective when implemented correctly. A study by Erev et al. (2010) demonstrated that gentle reminders significantly improved the use of sterile gloves among medical staff, with adherence rates rising from 55% to 90% over two years. This success highlights that the right approach to reminders involves more than a simple two-word email. It requires public planning of safety norms, mutual agreements among team members to help each other adhere to them, and supportive communication. Team members agree to gently remind each other in person whenever they notice a deviation from the safety protocols.

This method promotes an environment of trust and collaboration, positioning reminders as aids rather than criticisms. Consider your most recent 'gentle reminder': Did it truly embody gentleness?